After yet another school shooting, suburbanites around the nation witness another media spectacle. School safety issues and harassment awareness discussions spring up, and the everlasting question regarding blame is reopened. After the second shooting close to home in a period of mere weeks, officials at my high school decide to host a day to discuss these important issues. We come up with many different reasons. The parents did not know their kids well enough. The shooter simply needs to stop whining and endure the “mere” teasing. On the other hand, the self-ascribed noble people explain how the student body should simply be nicer. I hear rants describing how students are ignorant and callous. We hang out in cliques and crews and ignore the lonely. Of course, all of these arguments have merit. But the parents can only do so much as they are simply not psychic. Expecting potential shooters to simply suck it up will not prevent such incidences. And telling the school to be nice has not really been effective in the past.

In all of our discussions, I notice that the only people we do not mention are ourselves. How can we point fingers accusingly when we do not even stop to put ourselves in someone else’s position? For example, we cite the fact that people are teased everyday. We compare a daily ritual of embarrassment and rejection with our friends making a little joke. We assume that both are equally endurable. We have no sympathy for the young teenagers whose lives are constant pain. So if we cannot blame others, who do we blame? Obviously, ourselves. We expect special clubs and awareness programs to change the school. Of course, we are too busy to attend these things or even start one. We point out other people hang out in cliques. Yet, when was the last time you have sat down with the person who eats alone? We need to accept more diversity yet we ridicule the different. Obviously, you and I are perfect. We don’t need to change. It’s the other people who need to learn about love and acceptance. Realize that we cannot blame society self-righteously. It is true. Society needs to “be nice”. Society needs to learn to be more accepting and less critical. But we must remember that we are a part of society. We don’t need acceptance awareness days. We don’t need something big and flashy. We don’t even need to order the world to change. We just need to change ourselves. I need to be the living embodiment of all the ideals that float around in my head. Worry about your own actions. If you think you are already nice, then be nicer. A noticeable change in your own character is more effective in helping a disillusioned, bitter loner than all the posters in the world. Because if every “noble” person lived what they professed, this problem would not exist. I’m tired of hearing about how other people should be dealing with the outcasts of the school system. You and I can start telling the rest of the world their faults after we recognize our own.